Dropping a surprise “I want a divorce” on your spouse might seem like the ultimate way to end a tumultuous relationship, and for many, it’s the only way to do it. But, while you might want to catch them by surprise, you shouldn’t announce it on a whim. Prepare yourself with these things to do before announcing a divorce to your spouse!
Work Through Your Feelings
Would the problems you’re experiencing be solved by a divorce? Or are they part of a bigger problem? In some instances, you may not truly want a divorce and may want to just have some change in your relationship or life. It can be hard to look at this objectively sense it’s your own life and you’re accustomed to it. Work with a professional who can help you determine whether divorce is truly the best option or if there are other areas that you can work on.
Once you’ve talked with a professional, like a family therapist, you will be more prepared to announce the divorce. The professional will help you work through your feelings not only while you’re contemplating divorce but also while you’re going through the divorce. Having a therapist there throughout your divorce can help you manage your expectations and emotions.
Come Up With a Plan
Plan out your divorce announcement. One of the best things you can do before announcing a divorce is to have a plan in place for how you’re going to do it and what the next steps are. You don’t truly know how your spouse is going to react so it can be hard to plan for the time after you’ve announced that you want a divorce. Having an idea of how you’re going to handle your spouse’s reactions will help make it easier for you to manage the announcement after the fact.
Don’t impulsively announce that you want a divorce. It is something that can (and probably has) come up during arguments, but it can be hard to take these things seriously in the heat of an argument. Instead, plan a time for when things are calm and when you can have a serious conversation with your spouse. They may be more receptive and may also be able to handle the news better if you do it in this way.
Get Legal Help
You should always know what your legal plan is before you announce the divorce to your spouse. Get recommendations from and talk to lawyers before you make the decision to announce. Being prepared with a lawyer before you announce the impending divorce to your spouse will help you be better protected and will eliminate one step from what you need to do after you announce it. The lawyer may also be able to give you more specific guidance on the way to talk to your spouse and things you should (and shouldn’t) do while announcing the divorce.
Getting a lawyer is a big step and can feel like you’re jumping into your divorce too fast, but doing so early is the best way to protect yourself before you announce it.
Consider the Financial Impact
A divorce is costly and there are likely costs that you haven’t even considered. One of the things that you must do before announcing a divorce is to think about the financial impact the divorce is going to have on you, your spouse, and your family in general. Talk with a divorce financial analyst to learn about how to protect your assets, save money, and ensure you can meet all the financial obligations that come with going through a divorce.
It’s important that you work with a financial advisor. It may seem unnecessary especially if your divorce seems like it will be very simple, but it can have a huge impact on the way you handle your money before, during, and after the divorce. Unlike a traditional financial advisor, a CDFA® is familiar with and prepared to help you through the financial challenges of divorce.
Have a Support System in Place
Depending on your relationship dynamics, your spouse is likely part of your support system even if you are considering divorce. Know that once you announce you want a divorce, you will lose any of that support. Build up your support system—your non-mutual friends and even family members—before you announce a divorce so that you will be prepared. Having friends and family that you can talk to and rely on throughout your divorce will help make it easier and will relieve some of the pressure that you have.
Considering a divorce is a big step and preparing to announce the divorce to your spouse can feel like you’re sealing the deal on something that may have just been a hope for many years. Being prepared with everything you need before announcing can help make things go smoother for you.
Contact Wiser Divorce Solutions today for financial advice about your impending divorce.